Goodbye

She yelled goodbye quite loudly

But the truth it did not sink

This would be her final goodbye

And she didn't even think

What should she have said to him

Before he left her sight

It doesn't really matter now

It's too late for regret or fright

Artwork

She called my artwork sadness

Like my passion was a sin

Instead of all the beauty 

I had released from within

You see, the artwork isn't the only product

That comes from my time

I get a sense of worth

Looking at how I made things rhyme

And if you think the only product

Of a poem are the words

You haven't seen my safety 

When I see that things aren't quite as blurred

My artwork is not sadness

My artwork makes me free

Showing me the beauty

That I sometimes fail to see

My artwork is not just for you

My artwork is for me

So look at all my work again 

And tell me what you see

Tell me that you see the hope

Of the writer with a pen

Learning how to put away 

Things that have always been

Tell me that you truly see

The light in which I write

Because after a poem is done

I know that I'm alright

Because artwork comes from passion

It's a fire lit inside

One that burns and pushes you

To make sure you're alive

And if you think that you see sadness

When you observe my art

 I urge you to go look back

And read it with your heart

So We Found Out What Happened

So we found out the truth

And it ripped some to shards

Some are still crying

Others arguing over tools in yards

So we found out what happened

But do not know when

I know the truth

But I'm not telling them

So you tore up the family 

People are crying your name

No one seems to remember

What is real or sane

So you brought up some questions

Did you mean to do this to us?

You're breaking a family,

More than causing a fuss

So you used up five bottles

Of cold medicine to sleep

But your actions that night 

Were much farther deep

So he took the money and ran

You were right about the truth

He wasn't looking for a home

He spent it on his youth

So they went to go finish it up

And your daughter lost her mind

Now they wonder if she's ok

 Or if she's one of your kind

So they finally set a date

And it's messing with my plans

All of the pain that was caused

I place within your hands

So they say this should be sad

But it worked out for us all

I'm not sure if I believe that

After all that I saw

So the kids chose the fire

Your sisters hated that

But now the fire took its toll 

And that is just the fact

So he spoke of you today

That never happened before

It scares me a bit

If he thinks of you more

So I felt when it happened

I knew the exact way

I won't say anything though

I don't want to look insane

So he started playing the guitar

Now I hate that sound

Every time he strums a note

It is grief in form of pounds

So you say green is everywhere

Well guess what? So is blue

But you don't get that do you?

I guess so; you are you

Would that have changed things?

If you only had looked up

To see all the blue above

That held you in its cup

So they hope you had an episode

And that's why you made that choice

But now we will never know

And we'll be haunted by your voice

So we went to the memorial

And many people cried

Your sisters sat in the very back

And your kids, two side by side

So he sang a song for you

They say he sounded like your dad

And he strummed away his grief

Standing on that windy pad

They say that you loved to sing

Well, I love to sing too

I wish we could have met sometime

And I could've seen you anew

So I released a butterfly

And backwards it did fly

In that odd, twisted way

I found a real goodbye

So after, we went to dinner

And the next morning we had brunch

And in the span of a couple hours

I learned quite a bunch

So it was a good time for you to let go

It was a good time for you to leave

But how that leaving came to pass

Now that I can't conceive

I understand that you're schizophrenic

I get that I don't understand

But there was so much more to you

Than the hours that marked that hand

And was it the real you that made that choice

Or was it your counter self

The one who loved to talk to birds

And play with things on a shelf

Tell me now as you lay to rest

Did you really mean to die?

Was this all an accident 

Or was it suicide?

Madness Shade

She was a shade of madness

With no red in her hair

Quiet and peaceful

Until she managed to flair

It was a shade so frustrating

Something you could barely see

It was sewn in so well 

She just let it be

She had a shade of madness

That made herself her own

Her madness was her own unique shade

It was more than a shade, it was home

The Trail Of A Migrainer

I'm going to describe a migraine

For my head is exploding in pain

The things I am facing are hard to put into words

But I'll make it into a game

Where to start?

The head

It's a place you don't want to be

It's the center of the pain but not what you think

The pain isn't quite what it seems

Imagine yourself with a veil

One shielding your brain, not your eyes

Imagine the confusion of what you would see

Imagine what this veil could disguise

Imagine that veil is tight around your brain

The blood flow is barely getting in 

Standing or thinking or anything of the such

Is enough to make the room start to spin

Imagine that veil almost squeezing

It's just tight enough to keep in your brain

The blood flow isn't right and you start slowing down

It makes you feel like your head is covered in rain

 Now this tight veil around your head

The one not around your eyes

Is slowing you down as you slip deeper into pain

The veil squeezing to hear your cries

This veil is around your brain, remember

It is not around your ears

So now every noise that enters those tubes

Seems to be echoing over for years

Every high pitched noise is painfully loud

Screaming a personal song

One where even the quietest of noise

Is far too loud to belong

And if you manage to find silence in a room

There is no silence in your head

That veil that is tight around your brain

Has a very different idea instead

That veil that squeezes the blood flow 

Causes a white noise to fill you mind

Something so painful, high pitched, and loud  

It leaves you with a body that's blind

Now let's move on

Away from the head

Why don't we move onto the neck

A place that is stiff, no moving for you

You are locked into place on this deck

The rest of the body is groggy 

That blood flow is away from you 

It's trying to get through the head 

And then back to what it needs to do

Legs are achy and floppy

Fingers struggle to write

Arms no longer reach above the elbow

So you lie in bed and fight

Sometimes the veil gets caught on a part of the head

The blood flow fills that part and the veil starts to squeeze

The pain, that is sharp and like no where else

Is where the blood flow tempts to seize

Talking is almost impossible

Not only do you have to interpret through the veil

But you also have to remember what to say and how loud

For what you think is not to reality's scale

Computer screens and lamps 

Are too bright to entertain you now

So you are left with your pain and your veil

This is how you go crazy, now

Lying in a bed for hours

Waiting for the veil to dissolve

You can feel the veil doing all the damage it can do

Before this migraine can resolve

"Why not just fall asleep?"

That's a loaded question to ask

Maybe it's the pain that keeps you awake

Or the medicine with caffeine to keep you relaxed

But eventually your veil will dissolve

Leaving your brain to fix itself

It regrows all the places that the veil left indentations

 And you go through the phases by yourself
Your brain must now recover
It takes time before it's fixed
So beware of a few side effects
Making you unaware of the world and transfixed
Don't be worried if you forget some things
Or you don't feel like yourself
You will eventually come to
And find your forgotten things on a shelf

Slowly but surly your brain will remove

The evidence of that veil

You will then continue until the next one comes your way

And you will repeat this well worn trail

The Words

The words need to flow

From the back of my mind

Down to my head

And right through my spine

The words need a rhythm

With something I can see

A subtle tip-taping 

A song just for me

The words need more passion

To fuel what's told

Instead of just mourning 

The joy in the old

It needs to keep going

No stopping for me

But also, I need to stop

Using the word me

The words need a story

That makes my hands shake

So I have a reason

To push them from the lake

The lake of my mind

That flows from my spine

Moving all over my body inside

The words need an anchor

To tie down my thoughts

So they get to the end

Without getting lost

The words need a poem

The words need a place

A story for the words

A reader can embrace