Broken Light Bulb

I have a broken light bulb

It's stuck inside my head

It makes me into a nightmare

I don't know what I've said

It doesn't really like me 

It makes me scream and shout

I think I finally get my point across

But nothing did come out

I can't explain what is wrong

Because I, myself, do not know

All I have are my efforts

But there is nothing real to show

It flicks on and off,

Coming in like the tide

Not caring to tell me

When it plans to pass by

I'm trying to be strong

But its been broken now for weeks

And I'm just ready 

To get some real sleep

I guess it's getting better

But the truth: I do not know.

Is it really fading?
Or has my mind put on a show?

I've been told it's not the latter

But my head still feels like batter

And I want it to stop

This noise I can't explain

But I can feel the drain

Of every day I've felt it

No one really understands

Of how I feel and why I cry

Maybe, yes that must be why

No one holds my hand

I'm looking up to God

I know he sees me here

I feel him all around me 

But how am I to know

When he plans to show

Show me that this will end?

This light bulb comes and goes

All throughout the day

But when it wants to go on

I do not have a say

I try to explain the pain 

But it hurts in every way

Every word.  

Every noise.  

Every thought.